Thoughts on Turning 23


So earlier this week I turned 23, another year older and seeing as I do this pretty much every year, I thought, despite taking a bit of a break from blogging at the moment, this year would be no here I am posting this.

Image from Pexels 

Side note: I realise I'm awful at introductions. Oh well. Today I thought I'd take some time to reflect on how 22 was for me and also share with you my hopes for the next year.

22 for me was a year of self-reflection and well, to be honest, I spent most of the year living inside of my own mind, battling my own insecurities as well as mental illness and just trying to get through each day in general. 

It reached a point though a couple months back where I thought enough is enough and since then I've been really proactive in trying to get myself feeling more like myself again, and slowly but surely, I'm getting there. I've started journaling after finally taking my own advice that I posted in my why you should keep a journal blog post earlier this year, I've started meditating - which is a huge helper in learning to relax and as a result, I'm finding I have more energy and motivation to face my anxieties about going out.

I don't know if I'm going on a bit too much in this blog post, but oh well we're just going to go with it. I was reading my 'thoughts on turning 22' post and while it may seem like not a lot has changed in my outer world since my last birthday, there's a lot changing in my inner world and I have a lot of hopes for being 23.

I mentioned that I was either planning on releasing an e-book or returning to college and I think I'm veering more towards the e-book side of things as opposed to returning to college. I do plan to do some short courses in the mean time to improve some of my skills, but I've got no plans to return to study full-time just yet. 

I'm a lot more relaxed than I was this time a year ago, but I'm also much more motivated to get things done. It feels less like I'm living from blog post to blog post and more like I'm actually living, if that makes any sense. Building a life for myself outside of blogging is so important to me at the moment as when I have an interest in something I tend to give it my all, which can be great in terms of productivity, but life's about finding the right balance and I'm slowly getting there. 

Taking this break from blogging has been a huge help in me starting to feel like myself again and I don't know if I'll ever put so much pressure on myself to post twice a week again. I'm taking a much more casual approach to blogging now and I'm feeling a lot better because of it. 

On another note, I've also been planning to set up a separate poetry Instagram account for all my poems. One where I can really focus on the aesthetic of my poetry and having a home for all my poems seems like an appealing idea rather than a page on my blog. I know my poems get a good amount of exposure on my blog and switching it over to Instagram will mean less people will see it, but I'm also hoping for more of a dedicated audience and for my poems to tell a story and flow better as a whole rather than having them mixed in with all my other blog post topics. I'm still in the thinking phase of this at the moment, and I'll update this post, and my twitter with information if I do decide to start a poetry Instagram. 

In the mean time, I'm working on the poetry I already have - splitting them into chapters and tweaking them until I'm happy with how they read. One thing I'm worried about is that my poetry is very personal, so putting myself out there can be difficult, as well as the fact people might not be able to relate to it, but I suppose the ideas behind the poems are universal thoughts/feelings/emotions that people are bound to have faced at some point in their life. 

Anyway, I'm going to stop writing now as I feel I've gone on enough. I'm not sure when I'm going to post again, I've got loads of drafts posts I could post but I'm just not feeling enthusiastic enough about them at the moment, so, until next time, which could be a month or it could be a few days, I don't know. 

- Beth. 

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