The Changing Face Of Friendship

08:17

The face of friendship changes over time and I'm at that stage in life where, now, I'm not seeing friends as often as I used to and that distance has taken some getting used to. I thought I'd write today's post as a way for me to vent how friendship can change over time and how, that's okay. Friendships are a difficult one for me because they never feel concrete, they can change and waver at any time, you go from seeing each other regularly to hardly speaking at all. You just don't know when you meet a friend how long they're going to stay for and that creates a lot of uncertainty for me. It's not like with a relationship where you're either together or not together, it's much more of a grey area. You can be friends and see each other regularly, or see each other once in a blue moon. Does that make sense?

Friendships can change a lot over time and no two friendships are the same. 


You see, my sister always told me that people walk into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime and something I often do is allocate reasons for people having been in my life, identify seasons that they were there for and then the ones that are probably likely to stay become apparent. I don't know that's just something I do without realising. 

My friends have taught me a lot over the years and helped me grow as a person, many of which I'm not in contact with anymore but I am still thankful to them for what they showed me. 

I'm here to tell you it's okay to have phases in your life where you don't speak to many people, or maybe noone at all, it's okay to have solitary phases and it's okay to have phases that completely contrast that too where you're surrounded by people and social situations. 

It's okay to have times in your life where you don't contact friends and it's okay to only contact friends when in need of some company. Everyone's different, I only make contact with friends about once a month or so, someone else may contact them daily. It all depends on what sort of friendship you have and at what stage of friendship you're at.

You may be the sort of friend that doesn't get invited to many places but your friend always knows you're there if you need them and you may only see each other every couple of months or so, or when a situation, like a break-up for example, calls for a friend. (See my how to be happy being single post for more info).

Or, you may have the sort of friendship that involves seeing each other regularly but only lasts a short period of time. Friendships are so varied and no friendship is ever the same. What I will say though, is no matter what sort of friendship you have, value the time you have with them.

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12 comments

  1. Often people come into your life for a season. Some stay for a lifetime. As I've grown as a person I don't have a need for many close friends, but having someone to talk to is nice!

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  2. I completely agree with this post. As I’ve gotten older and everyone is doing their own thing it’s so hard to keep in contact but that doesn’t mean we’re any less friends. I’m also someone who sucks at messaging but I think my friends understand that. And it always seems like we’ve never been apart when we meet up!

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  3. Nice post! I like your positive attitude and perspective. It seems that we naturally fear change because it can lead us to feel vulnerable. We like the comfort of certitude. Thank you for sharing your experience.

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  4. I enjoyed this post very much. I find myself being the kind of friend that checks up every now and again. I'm not frequently going to be in your chat because we both are entitled to our own space and time to be alone. And maybe sometime I over-enjoy my own conpany but hey, if you call me to bury a body at midnight I'm there. Keep up the great work! X

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  5. I really liked this post. I also believe people come into your life for a reason, and sometimes that is a short time, and maybe sometimes it is a long time. I really appreciate your positive outlook on this. Thank you.

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  6. I think being in a relationship a person can get comfortable and friends become kind of off to the side.

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  7. This is something no-one tells you about growing up! Fairytales and TV shows seem to allude to one or two best friends for life that you see very often, but it just doesn't always happen that way and that's okay. Thanks for sharing, this is a great post :-)

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  8. You're absolutely right, friendships do change over time. I have a lot of friends, but the most important ones to me are a really tight group that has gone from seeing each other almost daily to seeing each other once or twice a year. We survived losing our beloved friend to cancer in 2017 and that change has been the hardest of all. But, as your life evolves, your friendships do too.

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  9. Great post. I have friends I've had 20 years but we don't need to speak every hour or go dancing every weekend to know we are here for each other friendship is like family you build yourself great post. Makes me think about my friends.

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  10. Iso agree with everything you wrote, As life gets busier it's at times harder to find the time to get together with friends. However I have childhood friends that are still my favorite ride or die people for me, and I only get to see them every few weeks, and that's ok - our friendship is bigger than that.

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  11. They definitely do change over time. Especially after you are in a relationship and have kids. It’s something that I think may be hard to get used to - but I think a lot of people go through it. Good post!
    -Morgan @ www.mommyaboveall.com

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  12. This is a great post. It is normal for us to grow and evolve as a person. That does mean sadly we out grow people. I have grew apart from alot of friends recently so i needed this read.
    Thank you

    Alyssa
    Thesacredspaceap.com

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